Lip Service and a Lack of Love

"I want you to be merciful; I don't want your sacrifices. I want you to know God; that's more important than burnt offerings."- Hosea 6:6

There it is. Straight from God's own "mouth". This is what He wants. Doesn't seem very difficult when you really look at it. How in the world do we take something seemingly so simple and make it harder than it should be? It's because we let "self" get in the way of it.

The preceding verses give what is believed to be a model prayer for the people of Israel. They say, "1Come, let us return to the LORD! He has torn us in pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds. 2In just a short time, he will restore us so we can live in his presence. 3Oh , that we might know the LORD! Let us press on to know him! Then he will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring" in verses 1-3 of chapter 6. The people of Israel appear to realize what they have done. They recognize the sin they have committed and the judgment that has come upon them because of this sin. They even recognize that in drawing closer to Him they will be "healed". What strikes me in this is the latter part of verse 3. They seem so sure that if they do this then God will respond. This comes across a little arrogant.

They just knew that this punishment would not last long if they just give God what He wanted. How arrogant of them. Let's just do this so we can get the punishment stopped. This is not what God wanted. He wanted a true heart change. He wanted them, not just their actions.
The burnt offerings and sacrifices were meaningless without the relationship with Him. They were meaningless without the love and mercy that is shown through someones life that has that relationship with God. They missed the point. Their repentance should have been based on a response to the God they worshiped and not to the simple fact that it would end the punishment.

God sees through this charade. He says in verse 4, "'Oh Israel and Judah, what should I do with you?' asks the Lord. 'For your love vanishes like the morning mist and disappears like dew in the sunlight.'" He knew their hearts. He knew how fleeting this repentance would be. Just as the morning mist or dew is evaporated and disappears so would this so called "change of heart". God sent warnings of the impending doom. His prophets proclaimed this message (v. 5) and the only response is one of arrogance and a false sense of security.

God saw the atrocities being committed by the priests. The people who were supposed to be the spiritual leaders of this nation. The people were robbing travelers and the priests were murdering. They were defiled by the "chasing after other gods." This went completely against God's Law. This went against what He wanted for His people. He wanted mercy! He wanted devotion to Him. They gave Him the opposite and then tried to give lip service when He punished them. Regardless of this meaningless cry of repentance, punishment was coming. God knew He had to draw the line here. He stated in verse 5, "My judgement will strike you as surely as day follows night." His justice is right and sure.

Let's not miss the point of what God want from us. He wants a personal relationship with us. In this relationship our hearts can and will be changed to exhibit to this world the mercy and love that only comes from knowing the Father in heaven. This is where the Israelites slipped up. They wanted forgiveness without any true change taking place on their part but in a true relationship with God there is always change.

Missing: But what is it?

I have had this sense of there being something missing lately. I can not quite put my finger on what it is either. Maybe it's just because I am not at school on-campus now. After all I did spend a year and a half going to classes full time. This kept me busy reading, studying, and doing homework. Now, I am working full time and not in school. I am trying to get everything together to re-enroll at Wesley College but in their online program. This is exciting because I had to withdraw rather sudden and unexpectedly in the fall of 2009.

That's not it though. I somewhat feel I should be doing something. Something meaningful and purposeful. I feel I am living on the sidelines somewhat. I do not feel I am in the "battlefield" but hiding in the bunker. We are to fight the good fight but I do not feel I am fighting. God has placed a call on my life and I feel I am not fulfilling it. I am still completely lost as to where He wants me to serve. I really envy people that were raised in a particular church and do not question the doctrine they believe. I on the other hand have been exposed to various doctrines and am not sure where to go.

I just want to fulfill this "call" and please the Father in heaven. I want to fill this hole that is in my life. I really need some direction.

Single Minded?

Single minded obedience... That's what is needed in following the Savior. He calls and we should answer with an obedience that is unshaken and never failing. This is what He deserves. What do I offer though in my seemingly half-hearted response? I offer a divided mind and body! I offer hands that compete for control. I offer feet that either stand still or walk in circles. You gave all for me yet I offer only part. Why do I not give in and give up? Why do I fight you and your will? I feel the author's pain in writing that I do what I do not want and do not do what I want. I want to follow faithfully. I want to obey... or do I? As Bonhoeffer said, "those who obey believe and those who believe obey." Since I struggle do I not believe since I do not obey? I see your words in front of me. I read them. I pray them. Do I really believe them? "Yes!" I tell myself. Where is my problem then? What's the source of my struggles? Why can I not be single minded in obedience to you? I want to be single minded... on Jesus.

Playing is not fun.

"Are you in or are you out?"

This is a question a person might hear a lot in movies. My kids use it sometimes when it comes to games they are playing with friends. They will tell the other kids they are playing hide and go seek and then ask if they are in or out. To them this is an important question. The importance is dire and needs an answer so this brief moment in their life can go on.

I have been reading a book titled "Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry and Mary". So far it has been an interesting read. Lee Strobel brings out some good points in evangelism. He brought one thing that hit hard. He said some people just "play church". This is a phrase I have heard many times. People grow up in or start going to Church saying they have accepted Christ. In reality though these individuals accept the head knowledge of Jesus but there is no heart change. While this is also a common understanding of the whole "play church" phrase it was the rest that Strobel pointed out that grabbed me.

He pointed out that some of them honestly thought they were truly saved. These individuals work toward changing themselves and striving to becoming on their own power the person a Christian should be. They have not truly allowed Jesus to take hold of their lives and make the changes that only He can do. This grabbed me because it made me evaluate my own heart. Have I truly accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior? Have I allowed Him full access to my whole life in order for Him to change me?

I do not want to live my life working on my own strength to be a "christian". I want to power of the Holy Spirit to dwell in me and move me not a moving of my own. Only Jesus can facilitate this if He is unhindered. It is in this that we stop playing and can gain a life that is meaningful, powerful, changing, loving, and God centered. I am tired of "playing"! I want to "LIVE!"

My Life is Out of Season

My life is out of season. I am never in fashion and do not speak the "in" language (even though I try). As the anthem of my life goes, "I'm not cool but that's OK, my God loves me anyway." I know where I stand in this world as far as society grades people. I am a lower class, blue collar man who lives paycheck to paycheck. You know what though, even though I may not live in a fancy house or drive a fancy car I have learned to be content in all situations because God has carried me through thus far. His word is true in my life and I see that Truth in others I encounter. He is faithful and just in His dealings with me. My failures are mine and no one Else's but God sees past that to bring me through, guiding me to grow beyond them and become the man He has called me to be.

Even though I am having some struggles of my own right now I know that God is with me. His calling on my life has never ceased even in times when I have ceased to listen. My own stubbornness and immaturity has hindered me from serving God but God has never stopped calling. I can admit that maybe my own problems with denominations right now are a stumbling block of my own making. Although I can not help but have convictions of the state of the church. I want the service and worship of the Lord to be pure and holy. I do not fit denominational standards and doctrines. I am not a heretic nor a cultist. I just want to preach the Gospel of Jesus in a manner that brings glory to Him. I am not out to make money at this nor seeking fame and notoriety. People need Jesus and I feel called to point them in that direction. As much as my life is off center and I may be eating out of the bottom of the barrel, God has brought me here.

I don't fit in but don't count me out. I just simply have "A Life Out of Season."

Caution: Spirit Moving Today!

Being on a social networking site one can read the many statements, thoughts, or ramblings a person might want to share in his or her "status" bars. What intrigues me is on late Saturday and Sunday the focus (amongst most of my friends) is primarily on the "moving of the Spirit" and "worship". This is wonderful and people should definitely focus on these things on Sunday. My question is why should the focus on these primarily be on Sunday? We should wake up every morning expecting the Holy Spirit to move and should definitely worship the One who gives us each day.

It would be a sobering fact if people would stop and think that God could call him or her home at any moment. What would you think if you were called home in the middle of screaming at a driver that cut in front of you in a drive through? As a Christian our thoughts should focus on bringing glory to God in every aspect of our life. With the outpouring of the Holy Spirit we could live this way. Just imagine if our focus on the moving and outpouring of the Holy Spirit amidst our worship encompassed our lives. In true worship of the One who gave us everything we do not deserve, the Spirit can use each of us to reach those around us with the love of Jesus.

"Father, pour out Your Holy Spirit upon each morning that I am awakened by Your grace. Allow me to be a vessel filled with Your presence so I may serve You. May my will be removed and filled with Yours. When people see me may they see the work of Jesus in my life. Thank You for every ounce of immeasurable grace and mercy that You have given. In the Name of the One who Saved me. Amen!"

Feeling Lost and Loved

I have been dealing with some bouts of depression lately. I am questioning where my life is at and where it is headed. Work is stressful and school is hard to balance but I am trying. I grow tired of mediocrity. I want something to move forward or change but I am frustrated on how to do it. I feel fake. I know these probably sound like ramblings but this are my thoughts. I fear failure. I fear I am failing my wife, kids, and God. I am uncommitted. I am a procrastinator. I am too soft. I am too fat. While some of these I can change there are some things I feel I can not change. The mistakes I have made to name a few indirectly. I am unsure about most things. I want to progress toward a goal but feel much like I am just standing still.

Are Christians supposed to feel this way? Does this kind of thinking by a "Christian" break the status quo? Why does society (and other Christians) think life should always be happy and joyful for followers of Jesus? Why does it have to be a bad thing for a man to express his feelings? Why does some people feel the need to tell him to "be a man"? Why does it make someone call him "emo" because he wants to express how he feels?

Okay, I thought I was going to die a few weeks ago. (Honestly) When I had my "episode" I thought it was over. The main thing that came to my mind was I wanted to do so much more for God than I had done. I felt like I had failed in my life. I honestly could not think of one instance where I had pointed anyone to Jesus. What kind of "Christian" am I?

I am frustrated with many aspects of organized religion and it has hindered me from doing the things I must do. Every aspect of who I am has hindered me. I am a stumbling block to my own self.

In the midst of all this God keeps calling. He keeps reaching out to me. In all my short comings and failures He is still there.

I am so undeserving but forever grateful for His ever present mercy, grace, and love.