Playing games as a child was always fun. Running around, jumping, yelling, and even the occasional win made it even better. Now, those that know me know that I have never been the athletic type. I didn't play football, baseball, or any sport growing up. Don't get me wrong, I like to throw a ball on occasion. Sometimes playing these games is not always that fun.

I can recall one instance that they were not fun.

I can not remember what age I was during this first story but it had to have been around the mid to late 1980's. I wasn't quite a preteen nor was I in kindergarten but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, my sister and I were at our grandparents house in the backyard. We had decided to play baseball. We had a bat and a ball (we were ready for the Majors). So, there we were in the backyard ready to play some ball. I was up to bat and my sis was on the mound (well, she stood about 12 or so feet away from me). She was pitching the ball over-handed and I just couldn't seem to hit it. Of course I didn't take into consideration my lack of athletic ability. As she continued to try, I continued to miss. In my frustration I suggested trying to throw it under-handed. She refused of course and I insisted. She argued that she couldn't throw that way.

I should have listened. As soon as the ball left her hand I knew I was in trouble. There was no stopping what was about to happen. The next thing I know, "POW!" right in the ear. Immediately following that was the fluid motion of me going limp and falling to the ground. No, I didn't pass out but I probably would have welcomed the relief from the sudden onset of pain. My sis was scared, I guess she thought she killed me at first. After running to get help the first thing she said to me was, "I told you I couldn't throw under-handed." Those were words of wisdom I carried with me for the rest of my childhood. That day, my baseball career ended.

I still love my sis but to this day I refuse to play baseball with her.

ROCK n' ROLL!!!

Well, maybe it was country music but we were still jammin'. My Uncle played in a band for as far back as I can remember. He was probably the one that influenced me to pick up a guitar. I remember going to the "shop" that my Grandfather run his new towing service from to hear the band my uncle was in practice for the upcoming shows. It was awesome to a kid around the age of 7 or 8 (okay, I can't remember exactly what age but it was around 1988 or 89).

My cousin (it was his dad that played in the band) and I had the great idea that we were going to get up there with them and sing. We were in a back room plotting our debut. We choreographed our moves and practiced the lyrics. Nothing sounded better than the sound of Alabama's song "Roll On" being sung by us. Man, we hyped ourselves up and marched in there to demand our shot at stardom. Just like any other bold and brave kid would do, we faced our parents and... sheepishly asked if we could sing with them. Yea, where's the boldness and bravery? It left as soon as we walked out of that room.

They talked to the guys in the band and they were happy to oblige our request to "sit in" with the band. That's when our planning went out the window. No more choreography. No more lyrics. Every thing was forgotten as soon as we were told we could. That's is when the childhood shyness kicked in full blast. As any good parent would do they kept "encouraging" us to get up there and do our thing. After all, who would not want a good laugh at a child's expense? There is nothing more funny than a kid making a fool of themselves right?

The show did go on! Well, minus one person. My cousin refused to get up there and sing. I continued on this road to fame and fortune reluctantly. I sang my heart out! Not really but I did sing sheepishly. I made it through my first performance with pride. Unfortunately there were no record labels racing to sign me as the next George Strait. There were no fans or groupies. There was though, a feeling of accomplishment. In my own little way I did what most people nowadays would say, "I rocked my face off!"

I remember crawling around on all fours...

Yes, that's what I said, I crawled around on all fours. You may be thinking that I am either being funny or recalling a time when I was a baby. Nope, I am talking about the earliest memory I have. I was in kindergarten and it was the annual kindergarten play. This play consisted of various nursery rhymes being acted out. I was fortunate enough to land the all important role as the lamb in "Mary had a little lamb." I don't remember much else about the play except crawling out there and getting laughed at. That is the story of my life though, getting laughed at.

I do also recall the usual stuff such as the smell and a little about the classroom. I even remember the kindergarten crush, only because we met again in fifth grade at another school. Of course, my family ended up moving and I had to switch to another school. I didn't understand then why we move so much but I was 6 so the only thing that mattered to me then was cartoons and toys.

I did meet a long time friend in kindergarten, Kevin. We stayed friends all through adolescence and teen years. He was my best friend. I spent many weekends at his house. It was with his family that I was introduced to church. His family went every Sunday and Wednesday. Kevin's mom was definitely different from mine. She was strict, protective, and very frugal (well, I didn't realize that then). She was caring as well. She ended being the Assistant Teacher when I was in 1st grade. I didn't find out till many years later that she kept all of the drawings I had done in class and at her house. She really cared about me.

I am not sure why I am writing about this but I have had some time to reflect a little lately. I guess I am re-evaluating my life in some sense. I may continue and write more about my life on here. Who knows, maybe then I can truly understand why my life is out of season.

Saturday April 24, 2010......

Weekends should be relaxing and enjoyed, or so society has taught us. Well, I guess not just society but Scripture as well. God did ordain the Sabbath and said for man to rest on that day. Sadly, life never takes a break. It is always busy around my house with three kids. There seems to be never a dull moment. Always someone yelling, laughing, fighting, or in the case of my 4 year old... asking questions. Why this and why that, is what he asks about everything. "Why?" is a question we all ask at many times.

Why do things happen?

I have been given many different answers to this question. Some have said that it is by chance, other say destiny. I have heard it said that "bad" things happen because we live in a sin tainted world. Then there are those that proclaim God's Sovereignty over life and everything that happens in it. I am not sure I completely understand how or why things happen in this life but I do know that people are effected. That's what brings me to Saturday April 24, 2010.

I woke up to nothing new. The usual time of kids fighting over what to watch and continuously saying they are hungry. Then, the phone rings... of course I don't answer because I thinks it's my mother calling. I checked the voice mail and it turned out not to be her. So, I returned the call only to find out that a very close friend (I guess you can say a best friend) had been in the ER that previous night. His head was banged up trying to keep two friends from fighting. It doesn't surprise me that he would get between two men that were a good foot taller than he is because that is just the way he is. He is doing OK, a little shaken but OK. I do know that he touched the hearts of those two mean by his actions.

The following bit of news I received from a friend on facebook mid-morning Saturday...

A dear friend passed away. She was killed in a car accident. She was a beautiful person inside and out. She displayed the selfless love that some can only dream of. She not only coordinated volunteers but also volunteered herself at a hospice and home health company. She loved people but most of all she loved serving people. She was active at her church, where she taught children this same love that she learned from Jesus. There is no other person I know who gave the way she did. I know that she is standing in Glory hearing those words "Welcome home, my good and faithful servant."

To my two friends I want to say this...

Andrew, thank you for being a courageous Christian in trying to help those you care about.

And to quote and beautiful song...

Marla, thank you for giving to the Lord. I am a life that was changed and I am so glad you gave.

You will be missed but I know heaven is celebrating your return.

If you anything about computer networks then this make sense. If you don't I apologize for the confusion.

I work in IT and have taken one certification exam. I am currently studying for another exam on networking. This may sound strange or just plain weird but there is some similarities between our relationship with God and client-server networks. Think about it:

The client (Christians) doesn't have have access to all of the resources available unless it is connected to the server (God, not saying God is a servant).

Not only this but through the server we are connected to other clients resources (prayer, encouragement, support, etc.)

I could go deeper into and in a future post I may but for a lack of time I will keep this short. Have a blessed day!

What a wretch I am...

There has been no truer words spoken in light of God's presence. Today, is "Good Friday" and we are to focus on the crucifixion of the man named Jesus. There was no greater sacrifice than what He gave, fulfilling God's plan of redemption for mankind. How wonderful it is to know that God, in the flesh, would taste of this pain filled world and suffer death for you and me.

We are so undeserving of this love. We are so undeserving of this mercy and grace.

We go about our days thinking, saying, and doing things that God despises but the world says is ok. Then we base our eternity on a single decision we made at some point in life. This, my friend, is unscriptural! Where is the proof in our lives that that decision made any difference?

Scripture says plainly that you know a tree by its fruit. We can see the proof of who Jesus is in the resurrection. We can claim to be something but there has to be evidence of it. Jesus did not just claim something, He proved it. Our own lives proves whether or not that decision to accept Christ meant anything. Yes, we may stumble and fall as "believers" but if God is working in us then we will allow Him to pick us up, show us what we did wrong, and give us the ability to change if we are willing. Our sinful flesh fights continuously against the working of the Holy Spirit as God works in us to be transformed.

What a wretch I am to take the opportunity afforded me through the crucifixion, death, and resurrection of Jesus and marr it with my sinful life. My hearts desire should be on pleasing God and doing His will, not my own self-pleasure and satisfaction. Do we truly want to walk around claiming to be "Christian" and then living a life that contradicts what it truly means? Do we really want to bring His sacrifice to an "open shame"?

Again, what a wretch I am...

Father in heaven, as I reflect upon what you sacrificed for me, I am reminded again that I am unworthy. Even though I am a wretched man You still love me. You reached across eternity and entered a condemned world to bring redemption. There is no greater love than that. Even though I fail you are still there, lovingly correcting and calling me back. I thank you for the salvation that is brought in what happened, not only on calvary, but that empty tomb. Without the resurrection there would be no hope for me. I love you and all I have to give is my life. Please continue to mold and transform me into who You want me to be.