Dear God,

     I know we have not spoken much lately. I also know that my life has been in a downward spiral for quite a while now. My faith has been shaken and I wish I could put a finger on when it started. I know that a major turning point for me was when I had to leave Bible College. I just knew that this was the correct path and I would fulfill my dreams. That did not happen. I ended up going to work in a field I enjoy but it was not what I wanted. Now I work more hours than I care to trying to make money to pay for things to survive on. I do not mean to sound ungrateful for my job but I just want to be able to spend time with my family.

     We made a major move this year by moving to the coast and that turned into a major flop. It cost me almost everything. I say that because I almost ended my life down there. It did get better after we hit rock bottom but it cost us so much more. My oldest, who is my step-daughter, moved in with grandparents and now doesn't want to be a part of our lives unless she needs money. My family is falling apart. There is the issues with my parents, the discord with a sibling's spouse, and the unspoken fact that no one wants to be around anyone else. I just feel alone.

     I have no one to turn to. Others point me to you but I don't think you are there anymore. I know you did not leave me. I know this because I have slowly walked away from you. My heart is empty. My soul is lost. I am failing in this life. There is so much I want to say but cannot put into words. No one would want to listen anyway. Some will say I am having a pity party and others will say I only need Jesus. Maybe if they would just take the time to listen instead of giving their so called good advice they would know what is wrong.

     I just want to be happy again.


Signed,
BrokenOne